Stocking: Kiyaar

[stevetony_elf]

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Username: Kiyaar (Kiyaar#1044)
AO3 Username: Kiyaar
Comics Steve/Tony: 616; faves include Hickmanvengers, Secret Empire, IM vol. 3, the 2nd drinking arc, Anything around Secret Empire before or after
Other Fandoms/Ships/Characters: Dean/Cas, Any Witcher content involving intense Geralt whump
Likes: angst, bdsm, dark fic, torture, noncon, death, explorations of chronic illness, imposter Steve/tonies, betrayal, established relationships, unhappy endings, really miserable/brutal stuff, porn
Dislikes: children, marriage, family-centric stuff, fluff
Non-fandom related requests/anything else?: SFF recs, pictures of unearthly places on earth, articles about breaking/Cool science. Playlists or music recs! I love fic recs too! ESP Witcher recs right now.

Comments

[lomku]

Happy Valentine! You are one of my favourite authors of this fandom, and a source of inspiration for me when I write. Thank you for modding the 616 server and organising events such as this one. I wish you safety and good health for 2020.
I think you might enjoy listening to Muse.

[lomku]

I am back, with a little snippet of the fic I started writing as a sequel to your Our Love Is A Ghost That Others Can’t See fic.

Tony crawls, and he cries, and makes a mess of himself on the floor. It’s pathetic, is what it is. Self-pity at its best. What does he think will come out of it? No one will come to rescue him. He dug his own grave and now he’s complaining that it’s too deep. He won’t get any help for his injuries if he doesn’t call the guards.
Steve realises he miscalculated when Tony stops moving.
Tony doesn’t want to get help, Steve thinks. Tony has been waiting for this moment.
Tony has been waiting since their last fight. Tony wasn’t bluffing when he told Steve to finish it. Wasn’t trying to rile Steve up when he told him to put his money where his mouth was. He was asking for it, plain and simple, and Steve didn’t even realise Tony was serious.
How couldn’t he have realised? He knows, he knows that Tony doesn’t value his life as high as he should. But it’s been so easy to stop looking past the anger, to stop caring about Tony, and somehow Tony wanting to die has taken Steve by surprise.
Isn’t this what they both want?
Doesn’t Steve want Tony dead as much as Tony wants to stop living? Isn’t this what Steve was thinking when he raised his shield up, up, up, and hovered on the impossible peak, one push away from killing the most important person in his life?
Steve never wanted to kill Tony.
He can try to convince himself all he wants, but the truth is that he’s incapable of hating Tony. Instead, he turns and twists and burns whatever he feels for Tony and turns it into a weapon against him. It’s not fair, that Tony holds so much power over Steve. It’s not fair that he decided to destroy the superhero community because of his own debilitating guilt. Not fair that he dragged everyone into his quest for self-flagellation. He fucked everyone over.